Clue me up On Cappy men-I’m stumped?

by admin on August 30, 2010

This is wordy-so please bare with it.
Met a Cappy in February 2008 (at work)-started dating in late May (our relationship stayed out of the work/gossip treadmill).I’m Leo/Virgo cusp with Scorpio rising. Don’t know a great deal other than born 9 Jan 1963-during a solar eclipse. He’s a widower-his partner died x-mas eve just passed (2007). He got a guilt attack and felt that it was too soon for us to date-but that a part of him just wasn’t willing to give up on us. I said that until he got himself sorted we should part, at first he agreed and we agreed to part friends which lasted a week, then he showed up on my door-step and made it clear he WOULD not give up and that we SHOULD be together. So we tried. We had some difficulties and admittedly I over-reacted when he did the Cappy-no contact thing. But, we seemed to get past it. Then all of a sudden he disappeared completely (late July). I waited a few weeks and then called, he was super-friendly, but I felt like he was stringing me along. I didn’t accuse him of it-but instead said "you’ve made it clear that you’ve lost interest", he waivered and could neither confirm or deny (late August).So we became sort-of-friends. In October, I found out that he was now bonk-buddies with a woman in my department-heard it from her (this guy ‘choosing’ her over me is like choosing a month-old, half eaten pizza that you found in the trash over a freshly prepared roast with all the trimmings).He showed up on my doorstep the next evening, we chatted for about 3 hours, bonk-buddy subject was not bought up. We started IMing each other (very infrequently), and stayed in contact outside of work that way. We had virtually no contact at work (once upon a time he was running into me around every corner-in a building with 25 floors-any of which I could be on at no particular given time). In early November I resigned-as I had a new job, I was yet to tell him-when-I find out that apart from the bonk-buddy (that he’s till bonking)-he ‘tree trunked’ (apparently) about 30 women since his wife died (he’d been talking himself up in the office to the gossip queen).I IMed and told him to delete my number, I then sent him a cutting message-I made it clear that I knew about the bonk-buddy, and couldn’t care less….but finding out that he’d disrespected his dead wife and (living) daughters by having so many sexual partners coming and going AND bragging about it-was DISGUSTING. He never replied to this message.
I know that Cappys a big on planning-and this whole issue was no accident-both girls (at workplace) are HUGE gossipers and the bonk buddy is LOUD and renowned as being vitriolic when crossed. There is no doubt in my mind that he planned on being caught AND having everyone find out (not just me) -just stumped as to what he hoped to accomplish……
In the time we were together he was incredibly open, romantic and loving with me, I reciprocated by being honest and open with him and letting him know how much I appreciated his gestures. He (said) that he still loved his dead partner and I completely understood that-and made it clear to him that I applauded the sentiment and that I didn’t feel threatened. He talked about our long future together. He introduced me to his closest friends (as did I), and went to lengths to introduce me to his daughters AND pets. I waited quite a while before I allowed him to meet my children-and he expressed his esteem in me for doing so.
We had some ‘creepy’ stuff in common (that he said freaked him)-both divorced at the same time (he was previously married), both got sterilised at the same time, for the exact same reason. Our bedroom decor is identical. Both LOVE the same music, and a host of other little things which (I thought) added up to something pretty huge. I was very supportive of him, his daughters. I was’t upset for his love for his dead partner-and readily allowed him to tell me about their life together. Through this I learnt not only more about him, but discovered that her and I had very similar spiritual beliefs.
So here’s my question-WTF ?? He went from on-fire for me – to – out of sight-out of mind !! Did he play me BIG time, did he suffer guilt issues about taking up with someone so soon after his wifes death ? Or is he just a jerk ?

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{ 1 comment }

Ramonnaa August 30, 2010 at 3:17 pm

You already know what’s up. That’s why you sent him that cutting IM message. Capricorns are like this. They reel you in and make you believe that they are stand-up guys, supportive of you, in love with you, etc. The fact that you met his children, and he met yours means nothing to him. They are self-centered and INSECURE beyond your wildest belief! They WILL string you along for as long as you let them, and then treat you like they never cared for you. They are also big liars, and indeed they are cheaters. He probably had you in a rotation, and since he’d successfully conquered you, he went on to conquer others who he will undoubtedly treat the same exact way. Don’t feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is just how they are. They need a woman who will look the other way. Someone who won’t stress them out about how wrong their behavior is, or ask them questions which point to how jacked up they are. They have a lot of character flaws when it comes to affairs of the heart. Any woman who says otherwise is looking the other way, and being rewarded for it by her Capricorn with all of the material wealth they have built up over time while selfishly leaving a string of broken hearts in their wake.

LEAVE HIM ALONE AND MOVE ON!!! You have a new job, start fresh! Just chalk it up to a lesson learned and date an Aries or a Libra the next time around. You were definitely too good for him.

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